Gondolatok a Szerelemről

Nem kizárt, hogy ez a gondolatmenet meg fogja osztani a Kedves Olvasókat, de a saját életemben ezzel a témakörrel időszerű, hogy mélyrehatóbban foglalkozzak. Ismét előre bocsátom, hogy ezek csak az én gondolataim, észrevételeim, tapasztalataim és semmilyen kizárólagosságot nem követelnek maguknak. Elfogadom, ha Bárkinek teljesen ellentétes tapasztalatai és gondolatai vannak.
Szóba jött már ez a témakör, ezen az oldalon, és írtam is róla véleményt, de ahogy mindent összefogóan átgondoltam, arra jutottam, hogy érdemes azokat csokorba szedni és kerek egészként megfogalmazni. Ha másért nem, a saját tükröm tisztábbá tétele szempontjából ez mindenképpen hasznos lehet.
Egyre csak nő bennem a feszültség, ha azzal szembesülök, hogy olyan, mintha minden a szerelem jelenlétén múlna. Ekkor hajszolom, keresem, kutatom, mert szerelmes akarok lenni. E nélkül kevesebb a motiváció a munkára, az öngondoskodásra, a sportolásra. Miként lehet, hogy minden ettől függ?? Teszem föl magamnak a kérdést. Ha kinagyítom ezt a kérdést és a teljes spektrumában tekintem, akkor egy olyan paradoxonnal találom szemben magam, hogyha teljes mértékben helyesek lennének a gondolataim a szerelemről, akkor egész egyszerűen megbénulna a gazdaság és a társadalom nem működne. Mert ha igazam van, akkor szerelem nélkül az emberek nem motiváltak, tehát mindenki, aki nem szerelmes, egyfajta életunt, mélyszomorúságban tengeti a napjait, és így értelemszerűen lehet következtetni a fizikai aktivitására, akár a munkájában, akár a családjában.
Amikor pedig szerelmes vagyok, akkor egy felfokozott lelki és idegi állapotban működöm, és a szervezet, ezt az átlagtól lényegesen eltérő többlet energiát kérdéses, hogy meddig tolerálja, és kérdéses az is, hogy a folyamatosan csúcson lévő dopamin szint (ami a szerelem időszakában megemelkedik), mennyire tart meg engem a valóságban, mennyire marad meg a képességem a felelősségvállalásra és a kiegyensúlyozott életvezetésre.
Mintha mindkét irányból ez végletesség azt mutatná számomra, hogy a szerelem, ha folyamatosan jelen van, vagy ha évekig nem is érzem, akkor már nem vagyok képes egy tartósan kiegyensúlyozott életre.
Ha ezt látom az eszemmel, akkor miért hajszolom, mégis úgy a szerelmet, mintha csak ezen múlna az életem? Egészséges gondolkodás ez vajon?
Tapasztaltam már, hogy valóban átalakul egy idő után tartós, mély szeretetté. De bennem akkor miért nem hozza meg a megelégedettséget ez a tartós, mély szeretet? Merthogy hamar azon kapom magam, hogy újra a szerelem mámorító érzését hajszolom és hajszolom, még kapcsolatban is. Nem lettem szerelmes a Párom mellett senkibe, de az évekig tartó sóvárgás, az egészséges szeretettel való megelégedettség hiánya, búskomorrá és boldogtalanná tett.
Ez az állapot, hamar megteremti, egy kapcsolat megszűnésének a feltételeit, ami be is következett.
Az eszem nem tudja felfogni, hogy arra lettünk teremtve, hogy „ágról – ágra” szálljunk, és csak addig legyünk egy kapcsolatban, amíg szerelmesek vagyunk. Ez esetben minden ember 2-3 évente újabb és újabb Társat kéne, hogy keressen. De ezen a háttéren a családok működését, és így az egész társadalmi rend fennmaradását és stabilitását elképzelhetetlennek tartom.
Még mielőtt újra szerelembe esnék, nagyon szeretném megtudni, hogy ez egészséges működés-e, és ha nem az, akkor lehet-e ezt valahogy egyensúlyba hozni és ezzel „normálisan” együtt élni.
Ha mélyen magamba nézek, akkor a kérdésem első része már kezd is megfogalmazódni bennem. Látok boldog embereket, akik nem szerelmesek, de mégis megelégedettek, egyedül élőt is ismerek, és házasságban élőt is. Látok mély szeretetben, egészséges kötődésben működő kapcsolatokat, amelyek már nem a szerelem rózsaszín felhőjéről szólnak. Mégis Boldogok, ebben az állapotban és teljes mértékben produktívak, minden tekintetben.
Remegő kezekkel, de talán be kell ismernem, hogy a folyamatos szerelem utáni sóvárgásom, nem egészségesen van jelen az életemben.
Úgy tűnik ez által, hogy talán a lelki fejlődésem, legnagyobb kihívásával találom magam szemben. „Szerelem függő” lennék? Hogyan lesz ezzel a működésemmel egészséges kapcsolatom? Nem biztos, hogy pontos a diagnózisom, de határozottan azt mondja az eszem, hogy valami ezzel nincs rendben. Hogyan működik a szerelem, amikor Valaki „egészséges” ezen a téren? Ezek a kérdések szántják most föl, lelkem „parlagon” lévő területeit.

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Hiába :)

Hiába udvarolgatott nekem Roberto, :) én makacsul kitartottam, illetve kitartok a saját elképzeléseim mellett!

Roberto, hidd el, hogy nagy veszteség téged sem ért, hiszen én egyáltalán nem vagyok olyan, mint a többi lány!
Kívánom, hogy találd meg a boldogságot!



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Ó, Robertoról már régen nem hallottam...

pedig ma van a névnapja! Ezt Leirétől tudom...



Remélem, hogy sikerült neki a boldogságra találni!

Jól el lehetett vele beszélgetni. Erősítette itt a férfiak arányát, de nem ez volt az Ő útja. Remélem, hogy sikerült neki a boldogságra találni! (Ezt Robertoról írtam)



Roberto köszöni szépen, jól van! :)

Éppen az előbb randiztam vele, de csak virtuálisan!



Roberto, hol vagy!?

Nem hallod, hogy kereslek!?



Kedves Kezdet!

Valamelyik lapon megöleltél, de nem találom, ezért itt ölellek vissza! (... és másokat is... )



Sziasztok!

Én nem irigykedem. Roberto remek srác, megérdemelne már egy kis boldogságot! Örülök neki, hogy kellemesen csevegtetek, kedves Editt!



Fárasztó napom volt

Teázok, olvasgatok és alszom. Mindenkinek kívánok további csodaszép estét, később pedig pihentető álmokat! Kedves Roberto, a tali fejleményeiről a beszámolót várom, várjuk! :)Sziasztok!



Fekete ing

sötétkék farmer, és egy kapucnis sötétbarnás átmeneti kabát lesz rajtam



Én is csak bepattantam

A lényeg, hogy a Pad a Pláza felé nézzen :)))



:DDD

Még jó, hogy felnéztem az oldalra! Kapkodhatom a lábacskáimat! :DDD Ott leszek. :) Csak öltözök és megyek.

Melyik padnál? :DDD



Áh, egészen pofás a víztorony!



Kedves Edit :)

Ma 18 h kor a Siófoki Víztorony mellett a Pláza felőli oldalon egy padnál tudunk találkozni?
Meg fogsz ismerni, mert figyelni fogok nagyon :)



Egyébként a hármas beszélgetés is izgalmas :)

mert egyszerre kellene 2 csajt elkápráztatnia szegény Robertonak! :) De ha felkötné a felkötni valóját, akkor ketten hallgathatnánk ámulattal.



Sziasztok! :)

Áh, ti még nem olvastátok el a profilomat!? :) Ha Siófokon élek, akkor miért utazzak oda? :) Na jó, ez csak vicc volt. Hazajöttem, átöltözöm, pihenek és boldogítom a thesecret.hu webhelyet ... :) Roberto, mindjárt bekopog hozzád, ne aludj, hanem hamar nyiss ajtót!



Szia Edit!

:)) De jó lenne! Pipacsvirág talán 16 h körül lesz itt :))



Szia Robertó!

Nekem sem gond bemutatkozni. :) Kérdéseim pedig folyamatosan termelődnek.
Remélem Pipacs is hamarosan jelentkezik.
Ma igazán szép idő van itt Siófokon!:)



Kedves Pipacsvirág :)

Ha ma is benézel délben, akkor több minden is vár Rád most itt :)
Az az információ feltétlenül, hogy gondolok Rád, és azért jöttem fel most, hogy
a "lélekjelenlétemről" biztosítsalak :)



Szia Edit :)

Nagyon örülök, hogy Siófokon vagy :) Az örömömet a teljességig fokozná, ha Pipacsvirág is eljönne:) Óh akkor szárnyakat kapnék :)
Természetesen a meghívásom Pipacsvirág részére változatlanul áll, és Vasárnap
fel is tudom ajánlani részére, hogy személyesen viszem haza :)) Kötelességeim arra a vidékre szólítanak.
Ha kíváncsi vagy Edit, én szívesen találkozok Veled, szívesen bemutatkozom és válaszolok a "feszítő" kérdéseidre is :)



Sziasztok! :)

Pipacs gyere Siófokra! Most én is itt tartozkodom, itt töltöm a szabadságomat. Tudunk személyesen is beszélgetni. :)
Robertó mesélhetne magáról, és megmutathatná magát életnagyságban is. :) Feltehetjük neki a bennünket feszítő kérdéseinket. Talán kapunk kis segítséget. :)



Lélekben erre jársz?

Majd nyitva tartom a (lélek- ) szemem. Szia-mia! Majd kereslek itt is délután...



Lélekben

arra járok, amerre Te leszel ma :) Szép napot Pipacsvirág :) Puszi!



Kávézzunk egyet akkor

majd jönnek most a pihenős napok a hétvégén :)) Akkor talán tovább simulhatsz a párnák között :)))



Kávét!!! 3 kérőjellel :)

Jól aludtam. Még gyakorolni akartam a párnák közötti paplan alatti simulást… de kirángatott onnan a kötelesség. Igyuk együtt a reggeli kávénkat, kedves Roberto! Utána: ölelés, mosoly, mert szaladnom kell dolgozni!



Csináltam

egy kis könnyű kávét :)) Megkínálhatlak ?:)))



Ma is felkel a nap :)

Szia Pipacsvirág! Remélem jól aludtál és frissen ébredtél :))



Akadt bizony 1-2 percem

mert akartam, hogy akadjon, de a feladataim várnak, így amilyen gyorsan jöttem, olyan gyorsan távozom, s egy picikét összekapom magam, hogy minél hamarabb kivégezzem valamennyit! Jó étvágyat neked is, kedves Roberto!